Sophomore

by Darth Nater

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1.
2.
Winchester 04:22
It starts today, the newest grade These halls that I will walk are not what I had thought There’s faces in the walls They hiss at me and bare their teeth and spit their venom out It’s not how I want to live I am like a god in that I am silent and weak and hard to believe in These bricks are my second hand smoke I choke and become more old than my years would dictate But hate is such a strong word That’s why I’m saving it for my days in this place It starts today, the teachers wake From underneath their desks The kids are in unrest and dressed up in their best Their silks and buttons churn my gut and leave me feeling sick And vaguely unjustly nostalgic I am like a pawn in that I am lesser and shaded and underestimated You are like a queen with no crown, you frown and look down on us from your high horse I’ll do better next time Just give me a second chance to change your mind Some time to find who I am The man that I can be
3.
There’s a round table in my head with nine chairs and eight plates Cause I never invite Jesus, but he shows up anyway And I’m there too, the mutt begging for food Chewing crude scraps from my idols Spitting out something new The shoes I shine with my saliva Trying to revive the dirt they died on I’d trade my pride for something real Just guide me through this narrow trail Failure! Get the fuck out of my psyche I’m trying to fill it with my lyrical heroes who’ll admire me Who’ll admire me? As I come out of the mire I’ll be pitchforked to the fire by some thick-rimmed wearing Pharisee Critical hypocrite Pseudo-intellectual The terms you throw like stones at us expose you so It’s apropos I know that I’m a part of it We’re all a part of it It just vexes me that you refuse to see how you’re a cog in this machine When I die, lay me out in a field Where I can decompose and be a part of life once more It’s all we’re here for Reincarnate, you’re such a misleading verb Built for corpses that contribute to the earth No one’s soul is being burned An outsider in his own land An E.T. on his own planet Planted ideas verses organic reflection I speculate that every last thought came from our parents I believe that we’re all products of genetic transference Inheriting all synapses, conceptual occurrences The currency of immortality in is our children Don’t look to the fountain, Ponce de Leon, look to the women Only in my fantasies You can call me the millennial falcon
4.
Timepiece 05:35
You said you’d be here by now, but it’s past ten-thirty and I’m freezing and lonely God damn, your pocket watch must be faulty God damn, your mind must be somewhere else With someone else Don’t bother coming by my park bench apartment I’m wandering the highways finding fine cuisine in garbage My interior’s got that inferior old charcoal paisley wallpaper T-T-T-Tell me, bout his good vibrations T-T-T-Tell me bout my limitations God damn, your pocket watch must be faulty God damn, your gears must be turning early with someone new I guess I’m overdue But who’s to count? You said you’d be here by now, but it’s 12 past midnight and it’s cold in the starlight I guess your analogs must be busted I guess your inner clock must be rusted from lack of use I’m running out of juice Don’t bother looking for me cause I won’t be hiding I’m the lotus in plain view, biding your time and pining Your interior’s got that superior new lavish velvet furniture T-T-T-Tell me, bout his good vibrations T-T-T-Tell me bout my limitations I guess you must have turned with the century I guess your cell phone’s run out of battery inside his room I swear I’m over you I will count my blessings and I’ll get back to you I will wait unceasing just to see you I refuse to rest until your coral lips spill the truth Cause I count myself blessed just to have met you You should count my treacherous glances and unearned second chances You should do whatever makes you happy You should beat my spurious ass back to Dante’s damned old land Cause I’m not half a man and now I know that Who am I to judge another human? Until the night gives way to the morning I’ll be here beneath the awning, beneath the moon Denying every truth
5.
6.
Bastor 04:04
Day by day you pulled us to the depths Week by week you ripped our faith to shreds I don’t want to believe And that’s my fault but you damn sure helped And that’s my cross but you damn sure pound the nails This time I’ll spare you This time I’ll spare you I’m waiting for your slip Have I been too gracious? And I wonder if your daughters will ever find out what you’re all about And I hope to your god that they’ll send you back home to the ground A heathen’s promise Run faster, Thomas I’m praying for your slip I won’t be so gracious... Rattlesnake shake your candy, I know it’s you tommy Back off my friend and me We’ll ride our bikes home through the storm Thanks for the offer though could I have been warned? Of the nights that you’d scar me and my best friend 14 and 16 we were just kids Forgive all your bad deeds? Do these eyes bear clemency? Back off my friend and me We’ll find our way home through the thorns Thanks for the offer though I’d rather be stoned A bastard’s promise Run faster Thomas I’m calling all your tricks You make me sick, sick, sick (Solo) A bastard’s promise is worthless honestly I’m calling all your shit You’ve made me 666 Worthless like good deeds Do these tears look happy? Back off my brother and me We’ll find our way home through the thorns Thanks for the offer though fuck you and yours
7.
Lost my religion, still got my heart Bound me, forsook me, left me in the dark Give me a reason not to tear you apart Give me a reason not to leave here right now My twisted vision, my Trojan war Took me and kicked me, shook me to the core The ship sailed 4 years ago but I’m still on shore Searching for something to plug all these holes
8.
Ulysses 02:34
What can I believe in? As I’m leaving the comfort of my God Knees are bleeding I’m lost in the smog There are church pews in the trees They’ll feed you lotus leaves You’ll sleep and never leave (There will be weeping and gnashing of teeth) I don’t know you I don’t know you I don’t know you, Lord There are sirens in the nave They’re saying they can save They’re chasing me away Now I’m breaking at the seams I’m waking from my dreams Please say a prayer for me
9.
My god, why won’t you die? Cause I’ve tried harshly and subtly Killing you for lacking the truth I’ll light your words ablaze, then start for the door The only books that start a war must be read with salt or not at all You sure you want me? It’s not mutual It’s not beautiful anymore I’ll bash their eyes Cause it’s better than seeing If they see then they might start believing And that’s scarier than hell And that’s coming from a kid who wanted to kill himself And that’s coming from a kid who grew up in sanctuaries high And that’s coming from a kid who faked it every Thursday night And that’s coming from a kid who gave up half of his brief life To crosses cruel and Sunday school, oh I’m a guilty wreck I’m going to heck It’s the worst kind of ship If you love me, give me ten percent Well that’s not love at all It’s not what you should ask of us You want a trust that’s so uncalled for For years and years I took the blood and Bread to get rid of the sins that I now revel in Well I’m the bloody devil and I perceive that we’re more than you’re teaching If they hear then they might start believing in us and themselves And that’s coming from the kid who hid in stained glass shadows of his shell And that’s coming from a kid who grew up in sanctuaries high And that’s coming from a kid who faked it every Thursday night And that’s coming from a kid who gave up half of his brief life To crosses cruel and Sunday school and disconcerting bells I’m going to hell
10.
11.
There’s greater places beyond the snow I’m getting sick of buffalo I love you but it’s time to go I’m stuck in sour syrup I’m an embryo Waiting for this city to rear me and kick me out as I turn twenty Amniotic is Niagara Falls tonight Amniotic is Niagara Falls tonight It could never be the ocean that had given birth to me It could never be so natural, but a section of the sea But for me If my body’s a temple, it’s crumbling But for me If my mind is a surgeon, she’s fumbling with the scalpel and the axe If I’m an acrobat, I’m landing with a crash As the disks inside my back all dislocate with a coordinated snap There goes my spine, who knew I had one all this time?
12.
My amigos got egos like self-centered torpedos Shooting out in all directions like explosive mosquitos Sucking me and mine dry in the blink of an eye And then flying to tomorrow night to stick us all again That’s not a friend That’s not a friend But to me you’re still a pre-pubescent teen So let me know when you can drive, cause you’re not walking back into my life There’s a demon in my skull and I like to call him peter He’s a regular, satanic blood-sucking soul eater Yeah, yeah Well he hisses his derision and the reasons I should die I think I kill him every morning but he comes back every night No, no Please, God, no But the miles I’ve been running will soon cleanse him from my veins And the songs that I’ve been writing will soon wipe him from my brain
13.
Mob 05:22
If you asked me how much time I spend writing verse, verses lying in my bed I would tell you to go to hell but secretly I’d know you spew the truth If you asked me how to be a man I would laugh cause I’m barely human, man or woman With my fuming factory stacks protruding from my neck Polluting all my friends My solution has been my seclusion and my guitar I need time alone to recharge Cause it’s an extrovert’s world and I don’t care if I win I’m just trying to fit in And I know that riches won’t make me rich But it feels that way sometimes, like it’ll scratch my deepest itch And I know that fame won’t grant me sleep But it feels that way sometimes, if I’m not loved I’m gonna die alone And that’s my greatest fear; my greatest comfort That I’m just like everyone else If you asked me how much time I spend being myself verses reading a thesaurus I would tell you to take your puerile derriere and saunter back to school Yeah, haul your callow keister back to the kinder’s institute And I know that pretensions won’t make me friends But it feels that way sometimes, when I use words I can’t define And I know that this façade won’t help me sleep But it feels that way sometimes, like everyone is better than me So that’s my greatest fear; my greatest comfort That I’m just like everyone else Yeah that’s my greatest fear; my greatest comfort That I’m just like everyone else
14.
Time flows like a river, like a pond The world will turn, whether I’m here or not I find solace in the fact I might be wrong I find comfort in the moments I feel small Time blinds like a killer in the fog The world’s turned for years and it will go on And I find solace in the fact I’m probably wrong I find comfort in the things I can’t wrap my head around Like I matter Like the human race it matters Like I’m anything but matter Like I’m anything at all
15.
Janus 03:48
I’m not apathetic, I’m just spoiled and conflicted Now you know the truth of how I think my sick mind makes do Do you believe in saving grace? The human race is all the same At least I hope so I haven’t the time or care to know for sure I’m caught between magnanimity and self-fulfilling prophecies I’m torn between a bleeding heart and a futile view of things Like lukewarm water, smoldering and polar Is this a body bag or amniotic sac? Is this the rapture or a heart attack? Am I a farmer or a swarm of locust? Losing sight or gaining focus? Am I Cain or am I Abel? To sacrifice or not? Am I the killer or the cop? Am I Abraham or am I a sodomite? I guess I’m both at once and that’s what makes me lose my mind Am I Jezebel or am I Magdalene? The sainthood or the sin? I’ve got both inside my skin Am I Abraham or am I a sodomite? It’s simultaneous at once and that’s what makes me lose my mind That’s what makes me want to die That’s what makes me feel alright Am I being taught or giving lectures Based in pixels or in vectors The rising or the fall Am I the fingers or the wall Am I a poet or a tax collector? Philanthropist or feline burglar Is my presence poisonous or am I someone you could trust Am I Jezebel or am I Magdalene? The sainthood or the sin? I’ve got both inside my skin Am I Addama or am I Solomon The sinner or the king Am I the winter or the spring? Am I Delilah or am I Sampson? A man or a woman I’ve got both inside my skin Am I Jesus Christ or am I Ponchus Pilate? I’ll give you a hint, I’ve got one in each iris That’s what makes me want to die That’s what makes me feel alright
16.
17.
What if I don’t get better? What if this lasts forever? I wanna get so sick that I remember what life is And why I should keep with it Revisit the places that you and I came from Take it on back to ol' Mesopotamia I’m not colorblind But man, come on, we're all human Fuck that, we're just cells That bloomed through evolution Mutant Synonymous with future A few more tumors and maybe I’ll be a man that’s super This isn’t how things used to be Maybe that’s a good thing Maybe my past has got me cornered in a boxing ring It’s not how I remember it, take a hit Right in the nostalgia But I don’t recall ever severing my memory Lights out, don’t shout, give us what we need Bitch please, I don’t even fucking know how to please So woe is me, amputee, trampled by the bards Call Michelangelo cause my statues lost both his arms I’m just teasing; Is it you or me on their knees? Witch, please, I don’t even fucking know which is me Am I a charm, potion, incantation, or a contagious disease? I was cast out of heaven for keeping too much peace Streets of gold and war mongering souls J.C. can’t you see that your holy book is full of holes?
18.
Pluto 04:09
Neptune to Pluto April to June, oh I’m what the scientists forgot Test tube to placemat, I can still taste it I’m out of place but light-years ahead Houston to fission Abort the mission Drop him and leave him to burn with the stars Dripping in saline Rotting with gangrene I’m the ninth planet, I’m the plan 9 And the astronomers all gaze up at my body Wondering how a boy so thin could be orbiting 17 to 70 4/4 to 6/3 No one will miss me But I don't much mind Dear homosapien Earth is so alien I don’t belong there and neither do you Are you my friend here now in the daytime when the lights are on Are you my friend here now in the daytime with the lights on Are you my friend here now in the daytime when the lights are on Are you my firend here now in the grey times When the fair-weather falters to monsoons and mistrals I’m just a minstrel I’m just a crooner who’s poor at his craft Like the blacksmith whose hammer just sits behind glass Or the captain who claims that he won’t need a map So lock me up and toss out (swallow) the key But bring back my heart cause I need it to sing (see, breathe) So lock me up and clip both my wings Goddammit I know why the caged bird sings are you my friend here now after the robes all slip off and we're crawling and naked like babies in stasis im too afraid to go home but too scared to stay here so cut off my hair shear me like a sheep cause youre my delila now put me to sleep send me to sleep
19.
Sophomore 02:18
It's time I forgave you It's time I forgave you This anger runs so deep This hatred's killing me
20.
Eden 02:08
Let’s go back to the garden, where it began Eve had ambition, is that such a sin? Back to the garden I’m going back to the garden I’m going down With, like, every face in this whole crowd Back to the cradle of our town Back to the African kingdom that even the ivory came from Back to the garden I’m going back to the garden I’m going now To face a past that still scares me I’ve wasted a whole life with worrying Maybe our heaven is just earth Maybe we won’t get a rebirth I’m prepared for the worst I found peace here within me Back to the garden I’m going

credits

released March 5, 2016

Nate Noworyta

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Darth Nater Buffalo, New York

Funny songs. Sad songs. Funny, sad songs.

Darth Nater is the solo project of Buffalo-based musician Nate Noworyta.

Lyrically dense story-songs filled with detailed imagery and characters. Musically rooted in folk and indie rock.
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